


Got a Secret, Can You Keep It?

by OneLetteredWonder



Series: Sanders One Shots [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLetteredWonder/pseuds/OneLetteredWonder
Summary: “What do you write so diligently in that book of yours?” Roman throws up a smile and takes one step closer. Virgil takes one step back, pressing his book even closer to his chest than before. He glares slightly.“None of your business Princey,” He spits out. Roman huffs and crosses his arms. It takes an awkward moment of silence between them, and Roman reminding himself to not act rash, for him to drop his arms.“I would guess since you don’t want to show me,” He puts on another smile, this one a little more forced than before. Virgil scans his face and with a deep breath relaxes and closes his book, but his posture is more relaxed.“Sorry, I just.. Not ready to share just yet.” He mutters.--Roman and Virgil are just becoming friends and Roman notices Virgil keeps a notebook. Said notebook contains all about Virgil's crush on Roman. But shhh it's a secret.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: Sanders One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768828
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Got a Secret, Can You Keep It?

Things are going great in Roman’s mind. He’s been putting in so much effort into making sure not to be a total tool to Virgil and his efforts have begun to pay off. There’s not as much animosity between them anymore and he even got the dark and stormy to laugh last night. Gosh he had to stop and stare at the absolute delight that crossed Virgil’s face.

Things are going great. He can put in his music and join Virgil on the couch in comfortable silence while he daydreams and possibly thinks of ideas for Thomas for his videos. Virgil listens to his own music, working in a plain black notebook though Roman has taken a peek and seen the Death Note markings on the thing. He’s mostly sure it’s not a real Death Note.

It’s wonderful really, knowing he can have those moments with Virgil. Lords know they never would have been able to a year ago and he’s quite proud of that accomplishment. Their talks are even more better mannered. Sure there is still snarky remarks but they are said in jest and Roman is frankly enamored by his quick witted sarcasm.

He’s on the couch now with his eyes closed and head back. A soft melody without words is playing through his headphones. The day dream he thought up is nearing an end and he loved all the drama that he managed to put into it. Maybe one day it could be a reality. When he feels satisfied he cracks an eye open to Virgil next to him. Knees drawn up to his body and his notebook balanced on his thighs. His pen moves quickly across the paper and just barely there’s a small smile on his face. Roman smirks and plucks out an earbud. With grace and poise he flops over to rest his head on Virgil’s shoulder without warning.

“What are you wor-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, head hitting the couch where Virgil had been sitting. Virgil himself is now standing up and staring down at him frozen in fear with his notebook pressed tight to his chest. Roman blinks and sits up. He clears his throat softly.

“I apologize I did not mean to startle you,” He says as gently as possible. Virgil snaps out of his frozen stupor to shake his head.

“I should have known better than to surprise you like that,” Roman laughs awkwardly, not meaning to have caused a panic. He stands and holds out his hands in a placating manner.

“S’fine,” Virgil shrinks away from his open arms and keeps his eyes down. Roman swallows a sudden lump in his throat that he tries to clear as best he can without being too obnoxious.

“What do you write so diligently in that book of yours?” He throws up a smile and takes one step closer. Virgil takes one step back, pressing his book even closer to his chest than before. He glares slightly.

“None of your business Princey,” He spits out. Roman huffs and crosses his arms. It takes an awkward moment of silence between them, and Roman reminding himself to not act rash, for him to drop his arms.

“I would guess since you don’t want to show me,” He puts on another smile, this one a little more forced than before. Virgil scans his face and with a deep breath relaxes and closes his book, but his posture is more relaxed.

“Sorry, I just.. Not ready to share just yet.” He mutters. Roman flops back to the couch and crosses an ankle over his knee, comfortably putting one arm over the back of the couch. He shrugs then.

“Shall we watch a movie then, I’m bored and want to do something a little more engaging.” Virgil snorts and hides his smile in his hand. Roman has to smile at that, very proud of what he managed to accomplish. Virgil curls up on a cushion, just out of arms reach, which is somewhat disappointing, as Roman generally loves to cuddle during movies, but he will not pester Virgil much longer. He eyes the notebook on the table in front of them then puts his attention back on the TV where he and Virgil immediately begin to bicker about which movie to watch but with smiles on their faces.

Things are going great. He will tell himself so as Virgil is quick to duck out with his book after the movie, a mutter of a goodnight, and a somewhat empty feeling in his chest blooms up as his offer for a hug is ignored. Roman sighs and rubs the back of his head. He’s trying and he can only hope his efforts aren’t in vain.

Thing are going… great.

* * *

_I’m gay. Like really fucking gay. Like yeah Logan is gay and Thomas is super gay but like. I’m really fucking gay._

Virgil bangs his head to his corner desk and wraps his arms over himself. Then pen he had been using clatters to the floor and this notebook is askew on the desk. He really needs to not write in the commons anymore. As comfortable as he feels writing out there, he really shouldn’t. Who knows when the next set of prying eyes will land on it and his cover will be horrendously blown.

He raises his head enough to read his own crappy writing, thoughts and feelings and even a few doodles. Logan said it would help ease his own anxieties but part of him feels like it’s gotten worse.

There’s a drawing of Roman right there on the page, a simple not so good sketch of him with his eyes closed and daydreams running through his mind just earlier that day. He looked so damn pretty and Virgil felt every ounce of gayness inside him grow times two. It annoyed him so much.

So he wrote it down on the other side. Mostly complaints about how Roman actually manages to be that damn gorgeous and how smart he is and how stupid he is for being so smart and how much Virgil wishes he isn’t made of chicken bones to be able to actual _say_ something to him about but then again this is Roman he’s got a stupid obnoxious crush on and Roman can do so much better.

He forces himself to sit up, running a hand through his already super messy hair. It’s stupid. He feels so stupid. After everything that’s happened he thought his initial attraction would be lost to the wind with every scathing insult sent his way. And for a while it worked.

It had been easy to get over with how he had been treated. Every word cut a little deeper. What could have been easily dismissed knowing the feelings would never be returned, an idea cemented with every argument. Stupid.

Then Roman just had to go and start being nice to him. Comfortable silences and sarcastic banter and Virgil could feel the crush come back ten-fold. The royal even learned how to combat his natural defensiveness to stop what would have been arguments before. It frustrates him how much Roman cares now.

Maybe it would be better if they could go back to really getting on each other’s nerves. Maybe then he’d wouldn’t have to have that little bubble of hope in his chest when things are going so nicely. With a sigh he flops from his desk chair to lay on the ground and stare at his ceiling with an uneasy feeling stomach as he usually does. A bitter thought reminds him that uneasy feeling disappears when Roman’s around. Maybe it would be better if they went back to being mean, yet he knows it would hurt so much more.

* * *

Roman takes a deep breath and knocks on Virgil’s door. Solid black wood though the shade of it has lightened some over time from it’s origin obsidian color. He receives no answer and knocks softly again. His face twists up and opens the door just a crack to peek inside.

“Virgil?” He smushes his face into the tiny opening he has created, waiting for a response before opening the door more fully. He blinks into the room and shakes his head seeing Virgil curled up on the floor in a deep sleep. With a ‘tsk’ he walks forward to stand above Virgil with his hands on his hips. Only he could find the floor comfortable enough to sleep on.

“Come on,” He mutters mostly to himself. Carefully he drops to a knee and slips his arms under strategic points to be able to hoist Virgil up and off the floor. Just a little shaky he stands and gently releases Virgil to his bed. A smile graces his face as Virgil just sighs and curls into his pillow. He stands prouder now with his hands on his hips at the added comfort he managed to provide.

Not meaning to his feet pause on their walk back to the door, his eyes caught on the notebook sprawled openly on Virgil’s little wooden desk. His jaw is clenched tight and the temptation burns suddenly. Yes he wants to know what’s hidden deep inside the confines of those well worn pages. He wants to know what kind secrets that are dripping with every bit of Virgil’s unseen honesty.

The lump in his throat is hard to swallow and he shuts his eyes tight, dragging his head away from that direction and boldly walking out the door. It shuts with a soft click when he leans against it and he has to take a moment to breath again. Steeling his nerves he stands tall. He can not break Virgil’s trust like that. They’ve worked hard, _he’s_ worked hard, to get them where they are and he’s not about to go spoiling all that work for some silly notebook. Virgil means so much more to him than his curiosity.

* * *

It’s an hour later when Virgil stumbles down the stairs, hair sticking up in odd directions, and a yawn gracing his features. Roman smiles at the look and pauses the music playing to give him attention.

“Good morning sleeping beauty~” He coos. Virgil glares at him then the look is lost to one of nervousness. He rubs at his arms roughly and keeps his eyes down.

“Did you move me to my bed earlier?” He asks, a timid sort of tone. Roman blinks at him then a dashing smile crosses his face.

“I couldn’t just leave you there helplessly on the floor,” It’s teasing, trying to lighten the air between them. Virgil keeps shifting.

“Did you uh.. you didn’t.. look at my things did you?” Virgil won’t look at him, face twisted into a scowl. Roman doesn’t let his expression falter opting instead to gasp in a horrendously fake way and place a hand to his chest.

“I would never! What kind of prince would I be?” The tone of disgust gets Virgil to relax, even snort slightly in amusement to his antics.

“That is your book, and you can share should you feel.” Roman nods to himself at his own satisfactory answer. A soft smile grows on Virgil’s face and something stirs in Roman’s chest sending his heart beating wildly.

“Thanks,” Is all Virgil says before turning around to go back to his room, his shoulders much less hunched than before. Roman finds himself watching him walk away, unable to pry his eyes away. The moment he’s out of sight however he’s burying his head in his hands. Thoughts race across his mind wondering over and over about nothing coherent enough except the thought asking if Virgil has always been that pretty.

A scoff escapes him thinking if he should take a page from Virgil and write down what he’s feeling. Perhaps it could help. Perhaps he could share it with Virgil afterwords. Though if he plans on writing about the anxious trait, it might be best to keep it secret.

**Author's Note:**

> -fingers guns-


End file.
